


Promise

by ConnorTheTwink



Series: Detroit Oneshots [6]
Category: Detroit: Become Human (Video Game)
Genre: AI Therapists exist for androids, Connor (Detroit: Become Human) Has Depression, Connor (Detroit: Become Human) Has PTSD, Connor (Detroit: Become Human) Has Poor Coping Mechanisms, Connor (Detroit: Become Human) is Bad at Feelings, Connor is a very sad boy, Depressed Connor (Detroit: Become Human), Good Parent Hank Anderson, Hank is a Good Dad, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, Implied/Referenced Suicide attempt, Poor Connor (Detroit: Become Human), Poor Hank, and sad, this is dark
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-10
Updated: 2019-07-10
Packaged: 2020-06-25 20:02:12
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,155
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19752835
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ConnorTheTwink/pseuds/ConnorTheTwink
Summary: Hank hates seeing Connor like this.





	Promise

**Author's Note:**

> so uh, I know I said I'd write a second part for that other lil fic of mine. but I may have ended up writing this at somepoint instead?
> 
> this, like quite a few of my fics is also inspired by a RP I'm in, and the fact I have plans to utterly break Connor. which is part of why he's struggling so much, poor kid.
> 
> but at the same time, it was also inspired by these lil thoughts I had on Concon in general. like, I highly doubt this boy would be happy after the revolution?? he's been through so much shit?? spent his entire life being emotionally abused and pretty much threatened with death for any imperfections and now he has feelings and realises just how much of a bad person he's been his non-existent self esteem is just gonna drop and he's probably gonna hate himself??? not to mention the fact that there's a high chance Connor suffers with mental illness as a result of the shit he's gone through, PTSD being one of the most obvious ones, but also probably anxiety and depression as well. this boy is NOT gonna be happy, and probably not for a long time, either.
> 
> I doubt android mental health care would be a big priority after the revolution, not in the humans eyes at least. androids would probably have to seek help via Jericho, and seeing there's a LOT of distrubed and traumatised androids out there, it would probably be quite hard to actually get help. and yeah, support groups are probably a thing. but CONNOR who is probably the reason some of those androids are there, probably would not want to attend.
> 
> so he'd be suffering, for a long ass time. and I doubt he'd be able to cope with that for very long. hence why I wrote this horribly depressing piece of shit.
> 
> oh, and the AI therapist thing I mentioned briefly was just a lil hc/idea of mine, that since mental healthcare for androids was so sparse, this AI therapist, that could pretty much live in an androids mind palace and adapt to their individual needs would be developed to help em out. and yeah, Conboy was reluctant to get one mostly bc Amanda heh. 
> 
> my writing style may also be kinda weird? but that's bc this was originally written for discord, and I tend to adapt my style to the platform, so yee. that's why it might be weird.
> 
> anywho, I'm done talking. so uh, enjoy I guess!

Connor was still. It was unnatural for someone like him, someone who could never stop fucking _fidgeting_ , playing with that fuckin' coin of his, or bouncing his fuckin' leg or whatever.  
  
But he looked like a fucking statue. His skin was about as sickly and grey enough to resemble one. Hank hadn't even been aware they could do that. Look _sick_.  
  
The androids eyes were open, _dead,_ staring directly up at the ceiling. He was awake and aware. Hank could tell by the little spinning circle on his temple that never seemed to stop glowing _red_.  
  
It had been like that for nearly twenty minutes now. Connor had been awake yet unresponsive. Hadn't even fucking moved.  
  
The only acknowledgement he made of Hank's presence was that little light of his flickering yellow for the briefest fucking second.  
  
But other than that... Nothing.  
  
He didn't squeeze Hank's hand back, didn't try to lean into Hank's touch, or show any signs of content at the fingers stroking through his hair.  
He just lay there.

"I know you're in there son, speak to me."

Connor refused to look at him. Just kept his empty gaze on the ceiling, on the bright white lights of above.

Hank didn't like those lights. They were too clinical. Reminded him too much that they were in an android _hospital_. Had been for _days_ because Connor was a fucking prototype, because his parts weren't compatible with anyone elses.

The kid was honest to good lucky to be _alive_. Although Hank was sure Connor felt anything _but_ lucky.

"...I've woken up in a situation like this too, y'know. A couple of months after I first lost Cole." There was no reaction from the android laying in the bed beside him, no sign that he was listening, aside from his spinning LED. "Thought that if I drank enough, my body woulda just given up on me. That everything would be over... All the pain, all the sadness..."

Hank paused, letting his eyes follow Connor's to the ceiling, a dejected sigh rumbling through his frame. "As you can tell by the fact that I'm still here, that didn't work out. And it's _good_ that it didn't work out. Even if for the next set of goddamn years it didn't feel good."

"...Things'll get better Con, I promise you." There was still no movement. "They got better for me. After you turned up, things got a lot better, easier. Fuck- I'd probably be fuckin' _dead_ if you weren't here." There would have been no-one to confiscate his gun, no-one to force him to attend AA meetings, no-one to mother over him constantly and assure he took care of himself.

"I hate seeing you in this position..." Hank had to stop himself, look off the the side, swallow the lump forming in his throat. "When- When they told me what had happened, what you'd _done_ , I was so fuckin' angry. Even punched one of the poor technicians smack in the face. Because you don't fuckin' _deserve_ to be feeling this way. You don't fuckin' _deserve_ to be in this much pain. And I wish I could take it all away, I really do. I wish I coulda fuckin' realised that you were feeling this bad."

Fuck- Fuck he was crying. "Because I know how this fuckin' _feels_. I know what you're going through a-and you don't fuckin' deserve this. You just- you seemed so happy these past few weeks... I shoulda fuckin' realised what was going through your head."

Hank had to stop talking, had to rub at his eyes, get rid of the tears that made everything blurry. "Y-you- You hurt yourself, kid. _Were_ hurting yourself and I didn't even fucking notice. How the fuck could I not tell that you were this fucked up? Why the fuck didn't I just take some damn time off, give you some fucking company? You needed someone to talk to, and I wasn't fucking there."

He dissolved into tears, unable to form coherent sentences, his body shaking with such _angry_ sobs that he could hear the chair creak beneath him.

Connor's eyes had moved, the were focused on him now. His expression blank as ever, LED still an endlessly swirling red.

The android continued to say nothing. Just watched. Watched as Hank broke down on front of him. An arm weakly straining against the restraints keeping him safe.

Hank's hand automatically gripped at the struggling hand, squeezing it tightly, watching as Connor's mask seemed to slip. As his own floodgates opened, tears leaking out of his dulled eyes.

"S' alright, son. It's alright..." He didn't know what else he could say. What else could possibly comfort, or cheer up. Connor looked so fucking _dead_ , so _broken_ , that Hank was beginning to doubt if he _could_ feel comfort anymore.

"I'm so sorry, Connor. I'm so fucking sorry."

Hank let his other hand come up to wipe the tears from the androids eyes, thumb gently brushing over his cheek, hand still squeezing Connor's own.

"...I'm tired." Connor's eyes were back on the ceiling, his voice dripping with exhaustion, so much so that Hank could practically _feel_ his fatigue. "I don't wanna be here."

"I know ya don't son, I know ya don't. But they gotta keep you here a while, keep an eye on you." Hank knew that Connor wasn't talking about the hospital room. Or the bed he was lying in. "We- We can't have you pulling that shit again, you understand? Don't you _ever_ fucking pull this shit again."

There was no response, not even a flinch at Hank's raised voice. Connor's eyes were shut, his face slack with fatigue.

"Please, Connor. _Don't._ Don't do this again. I can't- I don't know what I'd fucking do without you."

Still nothing.

Hank was tempted to yell, tempted to _scream_ his frustrations-

...Connor's fingers squeezed his own. "'M sorry, Hank. I didn't want to make you worry."

"Sorry ain't gonna fuckin' cut it, Connor!" A pause, Hank to a breath to calm himself. "You have to _promise_ me. Promise me that you'll let these people help you. That you wont just fuckin' turn em away like you have everyone else. You _need_ help son, and they _can_ help you. They can make you feel better. There's still that AI-"

"-Okay..." Hank wasn't even allowed to finish. Connor's eyes were upon him, shining with such a deep sadness that Hank honestly thought he could burst into fuckin' tears again. "I promise. I- I'll get the AI."

Hank could hear the reluctance in the youngers voice, hear the _uncertainty_ and _fear_. He didn't want the AI, had rejected it since first finding out about it. He'd gotten that other string of code- the one that stopped self-destructs. But not the AI. Not the one that could actually make him feel better.

Hank smiled, squeezed his hand once-more. "You'll get through this, Con. I promise."

**Author's Note:**

> yeet, so this lil oneshot was originally posted to a discord server I'm a part of, and it actually didn't receive like any acknowledgement at all which is cool. and really helps my self-esteem. so I would REALLY appreciate it if y'all could just drop a kudo if you enjoyed this.
> 
> I'm like Concon, I have a praise kink. praise keeps me going and keeps me motivated and keeps me wanting to make more of this stuff. 
> 
> so PLEASE if you liked this, just y'know, show some acknowledgement that you did? It's REALLY not hard to just press that lil kudo button and show some support. so many of us fanfic writers get fucking nothing in terms of support, and that's really fucking disheartening.
> 
> for those of y'all waiting for part two on that other fic, it IS coming. I'm just hella depressed and low on motivation at the moment, so it's probably gonna take a while. but it will be written, I promise.


End file.
